If there was a fire, would you pour gasoline on it to put it out?  If someone were about to jump off a building, would you encourage them or even push them?  If someone had low self-esteem and thought she wasn't good enough, would you go behind her back and cheat on her?

Probably "no" to all of the above.  Yet there are people who have no idea how they make bad situations worse, or destroy relationships.  "I cheated because I wanted you to pay attention to me" is not real believable.  Or "I did that months ago and haven't done it since" doesn't make it go away, not count, or hurt less.

Relationships take time to build, and part of their foundation is trust.  Unfortunately, a lack of trust tears the relationship down to an empty lot.  A violation of trust - whether two days into a relationship or 20 years into it - tears it back down to that same empty lot.  Lying about transgressions or even putting blame on someone else doesn't even give you the lot - you have a bunch of holes.  And it's hard to build on holes.

I choose to let someone else build upon holes.  The holes are so deep I could fall in and break my neck.

My time here is officially OVER!  I have made the decision to move to better climes.  Raleigh is a toxic environment for me.  Lousy jobs, worse partners.

I've got things working already - new email account, moving boxes.  Have to take a few trips to find a new home, but thank goodness for air travel.

No way is this mess ever going to happen to me again!

Used to be, in a land far, far away, I was part of a really great team.  My name wasn't on the door, but my partner's was.  We were a GREAT team and did some really impressive stuff together.

Fast forward, and in new lands, we tried being a team again.  I thought it was working well, but didn't realize my contributions were not being utilized.  Someone else took over the role of partner/team member.  It was "see ya, we don't need ya". You threw me under the bus, sugarbritches, and I can't say it was a warm & fuzzy place. 

OK, cool.  I can certainly live with that.  But now you want me on the team again?  Can you say "HELL, NO!"  I don't do that anymore - let's just say I lost my taste for it. 

I must be crazy.  I lost my job two weeks ago, and yet I am the picture of calm and happiness.  I'm finding the stress that I faced at work is gone, and it was more horrendous than I ever realized.

Picture this - I was on Cymbalta for anxiety.  As soon as I lost my job, I stopped the med cold turkey.  Granted, that wasn't the wisest thing I could do, but I no longer had health insurance to continue them or visit my doctor to slowly wean myself off.

It was a rough ten days.  Someone referred to the withdrawal symptoms as "brain zaps", which I think fit perfectly.  Kind of like my neuro-connectors weren't connected, and were reaching out to find the right one to connect to.  Weird feeling.  But, now that the zaps are gone, and meds are out of my system, I am so relaxed, happy, content, busy - all of the good things I haven't been for the past year.

Sure - I'm worried about money and finding a job.  But I find small victories where I can (thank you, Stephen).  The freebies or next-to-freebies I've picked up off of craigslist.  The volunteering I do at the animal shelter.  The impromptu dinners at a friend's house.  Watching my cats play and enjoying their company.

I'd like to ride this attitude for a while.  Find things that simply make me happy.  Hopefully I will lose some weight and take better care of myself.  And even better - find a job that satisfies me.  One where I can do some good or make a difference to someone or something - human, animal, Earth.

Want to hire someone who wants to help save the world?

I am happy to have a temporary reprieve from children on power trips.  Those who when given an inch take a mile and then some, and use it for their own gains at the expense of others.

So often the theory of looking out for #1 is destructive.  Sure, we've all been trampled on, dismissed, abused, ignored.  Does the rage of being a victim turn us into the oppressor?  Have we forgotten our humanity, our compassion, and our decency?

Many have.  Look around at those in power - our CEOs, heads of state, even our bosses and coworkers.  Survival (looking out for #1) has turned so many into unrecognizable monsters.

So I leave you with an expression from the Wiccan way of life - be ever mindful of the Rule of Three.  It applies to both good and evil.